The Wedding Was Held!

The wedding was held, vows were taken, and the happy couple have even honeymooned! The goings-on were quite successful, beautiful, and enjoyable. Over time we hope to fill this page with memories from the wedding and the days surrounding the ceremony.

"Best Man's" Reception Toast

Hi, my name is Chris, and I'm crazy about these two.

The two of you make it very hard to write a decent wedding toast. I can't point out how good you are for each other, because that's apparent. You're both fiercely intelligent, famously open hearted, you play well with others. As this group has so articulately expressed over this weekend, against all cliches you are made for each other.

Being a big brother is a bit like parenting, you have all the emotional investment in seeing the little punk grow into something you can be proud of, without the fun of creation or the foreknowledge of it's consequences. One day there's this squalling person in your life and there's no instruction manual. Bigger kids pushed him down in the schoolyard. I'm finding out about it six hours later. Do I form a posse? Whom do I invite? Should I tell him that when he's cheating at cards his ears practically glow? There's just nobody to call to ask these questions when you're eight and want nothing more than to protect this small person with every fiber of your being.

Nowadays Kevin doesn't need much protecting, but those old reflexes die hard. You take it for granted when you're growing up and your world is small and loving, that everyone loves their brothers, and everyone thinks their brother is the coolest, the most fun to hang around with. That they'll spend the rest of their lives remembering horseback riding together, soccer with the kick-back, long nights of playing Contra on the Nintendo until the cartridge smoked.

I've learned since, that having a brother I actually wanted to talk with, play card games with at age six, age fifteen, age eighteen, and twenty-two is a rare commodity. Kevin you were my best friend, my Ping-Pong buddy, and you will always be hall-ball champion of Douglas Road.

I'd like to tell a quick Kevin story, and then I'll get to the toast, I promise. Kevin had, right from the start, an unshakable, unstoppable whole-body committed approach to everything. When you tackle life that hard, it hurts. Kids can be mean, teachers can be mean, brothers can be mean, life can be mean. One day when we lived in Virginia and Kevin came home from riding his bike with a friend; I was with Mom, Dad and some of my friends, roller skating around the basement. Kevin appeared at the top of the stairs, in tears, with his eyebrow split open so wide you could see his skull. Mom and Dad immediately laid Kevin down on the couch, and started racing around getting ready for a trip to the hospital. I sat with Kevin, with friends around us, and I remember holding his hand, looking into his eyes and seeing real fear there. Kevin has this way of trusting you with everything. Whole heart in, no holds barred. His eyes were saying "What do I do? I came home, I did my part. You're bigger, make it better." I had no idea what to do. One of my friends came through and said "that's nothing. My cousin got his whole foot chopped off once. You just got a cut." Kevin said "Really?" "Sure," someone else said, "my Dad one time hit his thumb with a hammer so hard his ears blew up like balloons." Kevin's breathing slowed, his tears stopped. I wasn't sure this was the best help we could be providing, but everyone started giving examples of horrific, ghastly injuries that made Kevin's look like nothing. And Kevin believed us. Kevin's look said: "If this wasn't as bad as it could get, then if you say so, it's not worth crying about." Just like that. Kevin was a remarkable kid.

I say all of this to tell you, Liz, with absolute certainty that you can have no fiercer, more loyal, more committed partner than this young man you see before you. And that Kevin is really, really gullible. Now that you've earned his trust, he'll believe you. Use that power wisely. His honesty and his commitment make him strong, but they also make him vulnerable. Protect this man, even as he protects you. Nurture his honesty, help him remember his borders even as you expand them together. And when he's lying to you during a card game, his ears glow like hot coals.

Now Liz. When I met Liz I was immediately struck, as anyone who meets her is, by her intelligence, energy, and playfulness. Out of the maelstrom of wonderful things about Liz, I'd like to focus on playfulness. Looking back on my life, I discovered that nearly every regret I have stems from moments where I lost sight of the playful response to life's hurdles. Liz's ability to be a person of quality, and still a barrel of fun to be with, to look at life deeply and smile, is a true gift. Kevin, I charge you with nurturing the playfulness and joy this remarkable woman exudes. If ever in your lives you feel as if the honeymoon is over, seek playfulness, seek joy, and you will rise above mundanity.

It's impossible to speak of Liz and Kevin without bringing up the issue of Faith. Living lives of passionate conviction isn't easy, or popular. To truly live a devout life takes self-examination, discipline, and a touch of the inexpressible. It's clear that your passionate conviction where Faith is concerned has had a profound effect on those around us. The ability to touch lives is a powerful gift. May you always use your powers for good.

A few months ago Kevin and I had a long discussion late into the night about our differing life views. Kevin asked me what my philosophy of life was. I didn't take the question very seriously at the time, but Kevin, as was stated earlier this weekend, has a way of asking questions that stick with you. By way of a toast, I'd like to provide you with my answer to your question:

May you think critically, read everything, maintain faithful doubt, and examine your lives for every nugget of truth they contain. The answers you find today will not satisfy the questions of tomorrow unless you reexamine them in the light of each new thought you encounter. Any idea sturdy enough to stand on will withstand the most exacting scrutiny; so make sure you stress test your beliefs daily. Seek out new things to think about. Be fun to be with. Above all seek to maintain your playfulness. May you live with clear eyes, surprising imagination, and spend a lifetime honing your passions into a better world for everyone.

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